Once again, I find myself spending a late night over the American Pageant.
It's weird how things always have this god-damned ebb and flow to them. This time last year, my academics were struggling. I was failing English and my chances of staying in the class were grim. Now, I love my teachers and am incredibly interested in my schoolwork. People I called my best friends this time last year are nearly impossible to communicate with. I'm not going to say it's not my fault either. I guess it's near inevitable, but it's bothersome nonetheless. No one expects such schisms. No one expects a joke to only be recieved in silence.
Still, I'm happier and more content than I've been. That's a mighty generalization, but it isn't made hastily.
No one makes a playlist and expects it to take up more than one cd. I deleted one song, though. Everything fit. That sounds nice, everything fitting. It's hard to catch a breath through the homework, incompetent counseling, software updates, two-a-week trips to charlottesville, worrying about SAT II scores, wanting rest, wasting time blogging, and wondering where the hell time went.
Maybe it's just part of being a seventeen year old boy, but it's hard to have absolutely no hint of direction. I can list colleges to my uncle, but, in all honestly, I'm not entirely certain that I want to go to college right away. The conversation only becomes trickier when a major gets brought up. I wonder how many schools have transcendental meditation programs.
To quote Pavement, Everytime I sit around, I find I'm shot.
Nevertheless, I'm grinning ear to ear - and I mean that.
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